Yes. This post will be very religious.

But then again, I am a very religious person and I don't apologize for that and I don't apologize for this post. I am just letting you know ahead of time...now you can make the educated decision if you want to read it or not. :)

Yea for informed consent!

The question of whether I will serve a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (a.k.a. the Mormons, LDS, "those-people-who-kicked-Brandon-Davies-off-the-BYU-basketball-team-for-premarital-sex") or not has been a constant, pressing one for awhile now.

Recently though, I had a very interesting and very spiritual experience.

I had decided that I was going to serve. I had also decided that I was going to turn my mission papers in right away. I turn 21 years-old this November (the age that a young woman can serve a mission if she chooses) and would be able to start my papers this summer. That was it. I was set on it. 

However, as I came to study out my idea more through prayer and scripture study and conversations with my parents, I kept feeling *impressed that I needed to wait.

To be honest...that frustrated me like crazy!

I am very much like my mother in the sense that when I like an idea I am "all systems go!" and "all engines at maximum!" So, to be told that I needed to "throttle back" and "cool my jets"...yeah, it was not easy for me to accept.

But the more I studied it out and actually listened to the Spirit, the more comfortable I became with the instructions.

In my *Doctrine and Covenants class (one of the books of scripture used by the LDS church) we were studying section 11. In this section, Hyrum Smith (the brother of the prophet, Joseph Smith Jr.) has a great desire to go out and preach the Gospel as a missionary. However, the Lord instructs him to "not suppose that [he is] called to preach until [he is] called" (verse 15). Basically, that preaching as a full-time missionary is not Hyrum's job at this point in his life. The Lord goes on to tell him to be patient and wait a little longer, to study the scriptures and continue to build his own personal testimony first.

I was deeply struck by this. Hyrum's desire was a good, righteous desire but it was not the right time. Hyrum has to learn to trust in the Lord's timing, just as I am having to do now.

Even while I am instructed to wait, I am also instructed to continue to study and learn and grow. In other words, do not be idle! I must work hard and when the time is right, I will be ready.

Does this mean for sure that I will be serving a mission? No.

Perhaps I need to wait because I will meet someone special this next year. Or perhaps I need to wait because the mission I need to go to is not open yet. Or perhaps I need to wait because there is something I am supposed to do before I leave.

Whatever the reason, I am supposed to wait and trust with all my heart in the Lord's timing.

Is it hard? Yes. If there is one thing I lack, it is patience. Perhaps I am supposed to wait simply because I need to learn how to wait...

But again, whatever the reason...

"I will go [when] you want me to go, dear Lord!" (Hymn 270)



*Spiritual revelation can come in many different forms and varies between individuals. For some it is like a voice in their head, almost like their conscience. For others it is simply a feeling of peace and comfort. For others still it can only be described as an "impression." For more information on spiritual revelation as described by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints see: http://lds.org/study/topics/revelation?lang=eng
*D&C information http://lds.org/study/topics/doctrine-and-covenants?lang=eng